Big Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
Monday, August 17, 2015
Focused and moving ahead
I'm reached the end of my current plateau.
Its taken some time to come. But I'm ready to change my life drastically and see what lies on levels higher than the one I'm on.
Often I find that this kind of a phase change is accompanied by some or the other mental insight as well as some subtle but tangile emotional switch. Mentally this current phase change is being driven by a very simple thought - that I'm done taking short cuts. That I'm done short changing myself. That I'm done with all the temptations that feel so nice in the moment yet always tend to leave me worse off once the moment has passed.
In the past few years I'd grown to depend on quite a few of such temptations to keep walking on this path that I've chosen, yet a path that never quite felt mine. These range from just basic laziness, to smoking, to binge eating, to countless hours of television. Even too much reading has been a part of this.
I'm just done with all of that.
I'm done depending on these tiny indulgences, indulged in solely for the purpose of escaping that nagging voice inside of me which keeps on trying to tell me something that I didn't want to hear.
I want to hear it now.
I want to live true to my principles, true to myself.
I want to know what is 'myself'.